For as long as I remember, I wanted to live in the west where I can find like-minded people around me, where I was free to live whatever kind of lifestyle I wanted for my self.
The problem was defined and the solution was known.
I didn’t belong in Amman, so I managed to leave to Canada.
Yet with all the fun and great experiences I had that year; I still felt like a stranger in a strange land.
Coming back to Amman, nothing changed either, I still don’t belong here as well but that escape, that doorway is closed now. That solution of just leaving Amman and finding my self elsewhere has lost its magic. Its a done deal. This realization that you can never live the kind of life you want 100% anywhere is a bugger and now its going to be a lifetime bugger, the never ending Quest of liberal Arabs to find a place for themselves…
So a fusion of Amman and Toronto? for now its more Amman, and the bit of Toronto I can create every now and then!